We Ranked the King of the Hill Christmas Episodes
Christmas is one of the most widely celebrated holidays around the world, and many shows include festive themed episodes season after season. King of the Hill is no exception, with some of the best episodes being set at Christmas time in the town. Keep reading for our favorite King of the Hill Christmas Episodes.
The Best King of the Hill Christmas Episodes Ranked
There are seven Chrtismas episodes of King of the Hill in total and we will be ranking them from our least favorite to the one we consider the best.
7. Ms. Wakefield
Year: 2004
Season 9, Episode 2
During the Christmas season, an old and dying woman returns to the Hills’ house and claims that she used to live there. She asks the family if she can spend her final days in the house, resulting in a bizarre episode that has led many fans, including us, to remember it as the worst Christmas episode.
Quotes
Peggy Hill: Merry Christmas, John Redcorn. I made you some special reindeer-shaped cookies with toothpicks sticking in them like little arrows.
6. The Father, the Son and J.C.
Year: 2001
Season 6, Episode 4
We see plenty of Hank’s dad Cotton over the course of the show, and this is one of his finest outings. When Hank becomes close with his boss, Buck Strickland, jealousy is stirred up in his father and eventually leads to Hank and Cotton becoming a bit closer by the end of the episode. The heartwarming nature of this episode lands it a sixth-place spot on our ranking.
Quotes
Didi Hill: Cotton is so easy to shop for. Either he likes what I get him and he’s happy or he hates it and he shoots it and he’s happy.
Cotton Hill: Come on, Hank, let’s go shoot us a Christmas tree.
Hank Hill: Well Dad, you know how much I love to yell, “Ready, Aim, Timber”, but this year Mr. Strickland bought me a tree.
Cotton Hill: Brought my bayonet. Figured if it was good enough to kill 30 men, it’s good enough to slice some drywall.
5. ‘Twas the Nut Before Christmas
Year: 2000
Season 5, Episode 8
In this episode, Bill sets out to form a Christmas village to provide some festive cheer to the locals. Despite his noble aims, he keeps the village open long after Christmas is over in a desperate and tragic affair.
Quotes
Hank: I’ve had about enough of this Christmas crap!
Peggy Hill: It looks like a carnival. I wonder how Jesus feels about this.
Hank: It’s Christmas AND Bill’s happy. I’ll tell you how Jesus feels: great.
4. Pretty, Pretty Dresses
Year: 1998
Season 3, Episode 9
Season 3
Episode 9
Here we have yet another Christmas episode centered around the depressive Bill. With Hank’s big Christmas party drawing near, Bill is put on suicide watch by the entire town. Bill finally snaps here, adopting the female personality of Lenore, speaking in a higher tone and wearing women’s clothing. Dark and impactful, this is a classic Christmas episode of King of the Hill.
Quotes
Hank: Let me get you a beer.
Bill Dauterive: Beer is a depressant, Hank.
Hank: Don’t go blaming the beer.
Bill Dauterive: Dale I have to tinkle
Dale Gribble: Not on my watch!
Hank: This mornin’, Bill tried to drown himself in the toilet. So, do you think you could find him a date?
3. Hillennium
Year: 1999
Season 4, Episode 10
Hillenium is an episode that bundles both Christmas and New Year’s Eve into one. When the town learns of the impending threat of Y2K at the dawn of the new millenium, hysteria breaks out as people stock up on supplies and prepare for the downfall of civilization. Hank rejects the hypothesis in an entertaining episode that highlights the absurdity of Y2K fears of the time.
Quotes
Hank Hill: The year 2000 happens only once in the history of man, and we’re darn lucky to see it happen. Peggy, do you remember how excited you were when you rolled over the odometer in your Buick? Well, imagine if the whole world had been in that car with you.
Hank Hill: Peggy, why don’t you take off that nasal strip? Maybe your snoring will drown out the sound of that dang printer.
Peggy Hill: Do not blame me. Blame the freakin’ millennium!
Boomhauer: Tell you what, man, talkin ’bout that ol’ Y2K, man, mainframe gonna come crashin’ down, that grid, man, dang ol’ Apocalypse Now, man, dang ol’ “The horror! The horror!”
See Also: The Best King of the Hill Thanksgiving Episodes
2. The Unbearable Blindness of Laying
Year: 1997
Season 2, Episode 11
When Hank’s mother brings her new, Jewish boyfriend Gary home to meet the family, Hank gets an eyeful of them making love on the kitchen table. This causes him to go blind, kicking off a hilarious episode that touches on both Christmas and Hanukkah.
Quotes
Hank Hill: You know, the man won’t even eat steak. Hell, my boss has a bypass surgery every year and he eats all the damn steak he wants.
Gary Kasner: What is this I’m eating? It’s some kind of delicious cutlet.
Hank Hill: Chicken fried steak.
Gary Kasner: Oh well, I’m going to count this under chicken. I’m allowed to have chicken.
1. Livin’ on Reds, Vitamin C and Propane
Year: 2003
Season 8, Episode 7
Livin’ on Red, Vitamin C and Propane is our pick for the top Christmas episode of King of the Hill. After Hank’s mother inherits some furniture from a late friend, Hank fulfills a lifelong dream and rents a truck to deliver the furniture alongside his son. In a tense race back in time for the holidays with some surprising stowaways, this is an adventure we enjoy watching every holiday season.
Quotes
Hank Hill: Now how would you like to make this trip with your old man?
Bobby Hill: Heck yeah! Dad, can I have permission to say “Hell yeah”?
Hank Hill: Just a moment.
[rolls up the windows]
Wrapping Up Our King of the Hill Christmas Episode List
And that is our take on the best and worst King of the Hill Christmas episodes. Agree? Disagree? Agree to disagree? No matter how you feel about our list, leave us a note in the comment section and give us your feedback! We love hearing from our readers.
