We Ranked the King of the Hill Valentine’s Day Episodes

Valentine’s Day is the perfect context for an episode of many sitcoms, since there are often long-running love interest arcs that play out during these themed, seasonal junctures. While King of the Hill doesn’t dedicate as many episodes to Valentine’s Day as it does other holidays, they are very enjoyable and put a good spin on the day of lovers every time. 

king of the hill valentines day

The Best King of the Hill Valentine’s Day Episodes Ranked

There are only really three Valentine’s Day episodes of King of the Hill, but regardless we have outlined our ranking of them from our least favorite to our favorite. 

3. ‘Twas the Nut Before Christmas

Year: 2000
Season 5, Episode 8

OK, so this episode is technically a Christmas episode but it spills over into Valentine’s day in a meaningful way. When the chronically depressed Bill finds some happiness from setting up a Christmas village for the town, he gets carried away and keeps it open for much longer than the festive season. During this episode, Bill meets a woman named Marilyn who is interested in him but this budding relationship is squandered in the lead up to Valentine’s day because of Bill’s obsession with the Christmas village. Because it isn’t strictly a Valentine’s day themed episode, it lands at the bottom of this ranking. 

Quotes

Hank: I’ve had about enough of this Christmas crap!

Peggy Hill: It looks like a carnival. I wonder how Jesus feels about this

Hank: It’s Christmas AND Bill’s happy. I’ll tell you how Jesus feels: great.

2. I Remember Mono

Year: 1998
Season 2, Episode 14

Here is an episode that actually is set during Valentine’s day, where Peggy discovers that the story of her first ever Valentine’s date may have been a lie and Bobby discovers that he has a secret admirer. With a great mystery and a lovers quarrel at its core, this episode just misses out on our top spot. 

Quotes

Hank: Does Bobby have a girlfriend?

[Reads Valentine]

Hank: “Happy Valentine’s Day, Joseph. Love Bobby”? “Hey hot stuff”? Bobby, you can’t give this to Joseph.

Bobby Hill: Why not? He IS hot stuff. You should see him skateboard.

Hank: Bobby, if you give a Valentine to a sixth grade boy, girls are gonna think you’re… sensitive. Something like that could follow you the rest of your life. Now here’s a candy for Joseph. It says, “Hey, You’re O.K.”

[Throws card in the trash]

Hank: We’ll just put this card over here right now.

See Also: The Best King of the Hill Christmas Episodes

1. I’m with Cupid

Year: 2002
Season 6, Episode 6

I’m with Cupid sees Bobby spending some time with the depressive Bill on Valentine’s day after breaking up with Connie. This leads to him fearing that he too will end up alone and he turns to Boomhauer for advice on how to win over the ladies. Funny, heartfelt and memorable, this is the finest Valentine’s day episode that King of the Hill produced in our opinion. 

Quotes

Joseph: Today’s the Valentine’s Day flower sale. If a girl likes you, she buys you a carnation. It’s just a scam perpetrated by the floral-industrial complex. Right, Dad?

Dale: That’s right, Joseph. But still, you don’t want to look like some flowerless loser.

Peggy: Teach him, Hank. Teach him how to pitch woo.

Hank: I don’t know how to do that. What did I do with you?

Peggy: Nothing. I did it all. As always.

Wrapping Up Our King of the Hill Valentine’s Day Rankings

And that is our take on the best and worst King of the Hill Valentine’s Day episodes. Agree? Disagree? Agree to disagree? No matter how you feel about our list, leave us a note in the comment section and give us your feedback! We love hearing from our readers.

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