The spiritual successor to the 1997 cult classic Theme Hospital, Two Point Hospital is a business simulator that puts you in control of building a hospital empire. The cartoonish approach to the healthcare business gives the sim a levity that is charming and fun. Ultimately though, it is the gameplay that will keep you coming back for more. But if you’re reading the Nerds and Scoundrels Two Point Hospital guide and walkthrough you’ve probably already bought the game, so let’s dive in!

Two Point Hospital Guide / Walkthrough

Ultimately, Two Point Hospital is about building your empire of hospitals by growing your business without going bankrupt. You will design the layout of the hospitals, choose the types of treatment rooms, hire and train staff, and make decisions about scientific research. How you play is ultimately up to you!

In this Two Point Hospital guide, we will take you through all of the types of rooms, the illnesses they treat, and the staff you need to keep them running. We will also go over all of the hospitals available, as well as briefly discuss aspects of training and research.

See Our Guide to the Best Items in Two Point Hospital

Rooms

You won’t begin the game with access to every type of treatment room. You can unlock some rooms by achieving specific star ratings in a hospital. Additionally, you can unlock some rooms by completing objectives offered during the game.

GP’s Office

The first room you will encounter is the general practitioner’s office. The GP’s office is operated by a doctor and is the most basic room used for diagnosing illnesses. Some specialized rooms may have useful bonuses for diagnosing a certain illness, but you will always need GP’s Offices. Be sure to keep an eye on the queue for each GP’s Office as it is often the first place a bottleneck will build up in the early parts of the game. A significant portion of your staff and hospitals may need to focus on GP’s Offices. If you have room to spare you can build larger, more prestigious GPs offices. However, it is typically best to build the offices small to allow for growth elsewhere in your hospital.

Cost: $5,800
Required Staff: Doctor
Minimum Size 3×3

Required Objects

• Office Desk
• Filing Cabinet

Optional Objects

• Medicine Cabinet – $1,000

Reception

The successor to the simple reception desk, the Reception Room is a block of reception desks built into a square. This room can hold multiple assistants, making it the easiest way to clear any logjam in assigning new patients to be diagnosed. While a reception room is fairly basic, many early hospitals will operate perfectly well with a single reception desk near the entrance.

Cost: $1,600
Required Staff: Assistant
Minimum Size: 2×3

Required Objects

• Hatch
• Reception Pod

Optional Objects

• Radio
• Printer
• Mini Filing Cabinet
• Charity Pot

Pharmacy

The earliest room dedicated to the treatment of illnesses is the pharmacy. In the early game, the pharmacy will be one of your major profit makers. The most important part of your pharmacy is the Drug Mixer, a device that creates treatments for common ailments. Each time your pharmacy cures a patient you get paid! Expect to build several of these.

$7,600
Required Staff: Nurse
Minimum size: 3×3

Required Objects:

• Drug Mixer

Toilets

I don’t have to tell you what this room is for do I? Ok, fine. People poop as well as pee here. Doctors, patients, nurses, EVERYONE. Are you happy now?

You can actually toggle who has access to certain restrooms, sorting by staff vs patient, by gender, or even by staff position. It is easy to squeeze quite a bit into a 2×3 bathroom, so look for dead space in your hospital that won’t fit any other room types and squeeze them in when you can. You don’t need staff for this room, although janitors will clean them and water any plants. If you like the finer things, you can get Golden Toilets for your hospital.

$5,600
Required Staff: None
Minimum Size: 2×3

Required Object

• Toilet Cubicle
• Sink

Optional Objects:

• Hand Dryer

Staff Room

The staff room serves a single purpose in your hospital; help your staff recover. The staff room allows staff to both rest as well as rebuild stamina. It is one of the most open-ended rooms in the game, with items that can serve entertainment as well as refreshments. Other than a single couch, what you put in the staff room is up to you. The minimum size for a staff room is only 2×3, but to get much out of them you’ll likely want them larger. Keep in mind that some players skip staff rooms in favor of staff only cafes.

$5,500
Required Staff: None
Minimum Size: 2×3

Required Objects

• Sofa

Optional Objects

• Locker
• Armchair
• dart board
• Television
• Coffee Table
• Lamp
• Exercise Frame
• Snack Machines

General Diagnosis

In Two Point Hospital, diagnosing an illness can be a multi-step process. But, if your GP is unable to make a diagnosis the patient can be sent to General Diagnosis. Your General Diagnosis room will diagnose some issues, but you can ship the patients without a diagnosis off to a more specialized diagnosis facility.

$7,100
Required Staff: Nurse
Minimum Size: 3×3

Required Objects:

• EZ-Scan
• Examination Table

Optional Objects:

• Medicine Cabinet

Ward

A traditional hospital ward, this room is typically larger than some of the others available. The ward is made up of a series of beds and changing screens. Larger rooms can obviously hold more people, and you can have as many as four nurses working in a ward. However, there can only ever be one door which can cause serious bottlenecks for bigger rooms. There is no hard and fast rule on setting up wards, but you will typically want at least 1 nurse for every four patients. To avoid bottlenecks you should also have one changing screen for every three beds.

$7,500
Required Staff: Nurse
Minimum Size: 3×4

Required objects:

• Bed
• Nurse Station
• Screen

Optional Objects:

• Wall Monitor – Boosts treatment and diagnosis power by 1%
• Bedside Table

Cardiology

The Cardiology room is another nurse-operated diagnostic room. The primary diagnostic tool is the treadmill, called the Heart Racer. This room is used for diagnostics if the GP is unable to determine the illness. It tests a patient’s heart rate and other symptoms. With only one Heart Racer, there is no need to have more than a single nurse staffing the room at a time. With little required equipment or ability to scale, there is little reason to build out your Cardiology room beyond 3×3.

$7,600
Required Staff: Nurse
Minimum Size: 3×3

Required Objects:

• Heart Racer

Optional Objects:

• Pullup Bar

Psychiatry

The Psychiatry room is the first room you will encounter that requires a doctor with a specialization. And it’s an important one, as your psychiatrists will be able to cure a number of diseases. The focus of the room is the doctor’s chair and the couch for patients. There can only be one of each so a 3×3 room is as much space as you’ll need. Keep the couch close to the door to trim a little time from patients walking in and out of the room. Then, just fill in the room with items that will improve treatment odds or prestige.

$6,100
Required Staff: Doctor with Psychiatry Specialization
Minimum Size: 3×3

Required Objects:

• Psychiatrists’s Armchair
• Psychiatric Couch

Optional Objects:

• Treatment Bookcase – +2% to Treatment and Prestige

De-Lux Clinic

The De-Lux Clinic serves one purpose: the treat the infliction known as Lightheadedness. If you’ve seen any clips from the game, you will recognize these patients as the people with light bulbs for heads. The De-Lux Clinic only requires the large De-Lux-O-Luxe and the Console to control it. You can only have on in each clinic, and only one patient can be treated at a time. If you place the large equipment in a corner you have ample wall space to add items that will boost prestige and treatment odds.

$21,000
Required Staff: Doctor
Minimum Size: 3×3

Required Objects:

• De-Luxe-O-Luxe – The machine that cures Lightheadedness
• Console – The controls used by your nurse to operate the De-Luxe-O-Luxe

Training Room

The Training Room can change your hospital in a major way. Before the Training Room, you are at the whim of the talent pool available for hire. Need a Psychiatrist and there’s not one available? You get to wait. But with a training room, you can have other employees or even outside instructors teach traits to your employees. It’s much easier to train a baby doctor into specialties than hiring them off the market. The minimum size of the room is 3×3, but these rooms can vary greatly in size. You can only teach one class at a time, so it’s rare that you’ll have huge numbers of employees training all at once. You are generally better off with multiple small training rooms as opposed to one large one. The Desks are compact so it’s pretty easy to stuff students into training.

$7,000
Required Staff: Depends on what you want to train
Minimum Size 3×3

Required Objects:

• Lectern
• Trainee Desk – You will need 1 per student

Optional Objects:

• Encyclopedia Bookcase I – +2% to training speed and room prestige bump
• Encyclopedia Bookcase I – +4% to training speed and room prestige bump

Pans Lab

Are you walking around with a simmering pan as a head? Then you need the Pans Lab! The Pans Lab cures Pandemic and is the only room that can do so. A doctor must man this room but he or she won’t need a specialty. The minimum room size is more than enough, as you will only be able to use one Extract-A-Pan per room.

$20,100
Required Staff: Doctor
Minimum Size: 4×4

Required Objects:

• Extract-A-Pan – Large machinery used to cure Pandemic

Clown Clinic

This large room serves one purpose: clearing the scourge of Jest Infection, a disease that turns people into clowns. I bet the kids from IT wish they had this technology back in the day, right? The minimum size of 4×4 is plenty of room for the large Dehumorfier and the assorted optional objects you might include.

$20,100
Required Staff: Nurse
Minimum Size: 4×4

Required Objects:

• Dehumorfier – Cures Jest Infection

Optional Objects

• Cannon
• Circus Lights
• Hay

Fracture Ward

A Fracture Ward is similar to the traditional Ward, in that includes a series of beds attended by nurses used for treatment. However, a Fracture Ward cures broken bones and fractures as opposed to general illnesses handled by a Ward. The Traction Beds used in a Fracture Ward are much larger than standard beds. Thus, you will not be able to accommodate many Traction Beds in the minimum 3×4 room size. Like a normal Ward, it can hold multiple nurses working at the same time.

$13,600
Required Staff: Nurse
Minimum Size: 3×4

Required Objects:

• Traction Beds
• Plaster Caster
• Nurse Station

Optional Objects

• Wall Monitor – Boosts Treatment and Diagnosis by 1%

Research

The Research Room will open an entire new aspect of the game up for you. IT allows you research upgrades to your hospital. Research is worth an entire guide of its own, which you can find here (coming soon). You will need a bevy of doctors to run your research, and each of them will need the research trait.

$35,100
Required Staff: Doctor with Research Trait
Minimum Size: 3×3

Required Objects:

• Researcher’s Desk
• Research Pod

Optional Objects

• Research Monitors – Gives +1 Research Power
• Server – +1 Research Power

Marketing

Like Research, Marketing opens up an entirely new part of the game. A marketing room allows you to run marketing campaigns that will attract more patients and boost your hospital’s reputation. You can see our complete guide to marketing here (coming soon).

$7,100
Minimum Size: 3×4

Required Objects:

• Marketeer’s Desk
• Marketing Table

Optional Objects:

• Research Monitors – +1 Boost to Research Power
• Server – +1 Boos to Research Power

Chromatherapy

In Game of Thrones, greyscale is one of the truly horrific illnesses afflicting the characters that manage not to get eaten by dragons first. As bad as it is, could Grey Anatomy in Two Point Hospital be worse? Nah. But you definitely wouldn’t want to turn completely grey. With a Chromatherapy Room, your hospital can colorize the poor folks afflicted with Grey Anatomy. You will only need a Colourizer and a Console, which can fit comfortably in the minimum sized room.

$21,100
Staff Required: Nurse
Minimum Size: 4×3

Required Objects:

• Colourizer
• Console

X-Ray

The X-Ray is a late-game diagnosis room that is very effective at identifying rarer ailments. Using the machine is slow and a doctor is required, so there is a potential for bottlenecks in larger hospitals. If you have the budget in a larger hospital, you may want 2 or 3 of these rooms.

$31,100
Staff Required: Doctor
Minimum Size: 4×4

Required Objects:

• X-ray Machine
• X-ray Terminal

Injection Room

Afraid of needles? The Injection Room may not be for you. It is, however, music to the ears of your patients afflicted with Mood Poisoning or Rock Bottom. Each Injection Room can hold one Jab Master, which can only cure one patient at a time. You won’t need a larger room than the minimum 3×3, and only one nurse is needed.

$15,100
Required Staff: Nurse
Minimum Size: 3×3

Required Objects:

• Jab Master

Fluid Analysis

At Fluid Analysis, nurses use the enormous Fluid Accelerator to extract bodily fluids from patients. They then analyze these fluids as a diagnostic tool. This is one of the more powerful diagnostic rooms. While the Fluid Accelerator takes up a lot of space, each room can only have one. This means there is little reason to have a Fluid Analysis larger than the minimum size.

$20,100
Staff Required: Nurse
Minimum Size: 3×3

Required Object:

• Fluid Accelerator

M.E.G.A. Scan

The M.E.G.A. Scanner is arguably the best diagnostic room available. The machine is expensive and needs a doctor with the radiology trait to operate it. The process is also slow, which may make having more than one of these rooms necessary. With a minimum size of 4×4, you won’t need a room larger than that.

$60,100
Staff Required: Doctor with Radiology trait
Minimum size: 4×4

Required Objects:

• M.E.G.A. Scanner

Cafe

All that ghost hunting has made your staff hungry! The Cafe provides employees and patients with food and a place to relax. The Cafe is frequently the most popular room in a hospital. It is critial that you spread out the tables in the cafe as the room is bad about characters getting hung up on furniture.

$7,600
Staff Required: Assistant
Minimum Sentence: 5×4

Required Objects:

• Cafe
• Tables and Chairs
• Food Bin

Surgery

The Surgery is an advanced treatment room that utilizes some of the most highly-trained doctors in the game. It is also one of the only rooms in the game that requires both a doctor and a nurse. The treatment time is long, but its success rate for treating difficult illnesses is second to none.

$26,000
Staff Required: Nurse, Doctor with Surgery Trait
Minimum Size 3×4

Required Objects:

• Operating Table
• Medical Sink
• Screen

Optional Objects:

• Operation Monitor
• Wall Monitor

Head Office

The aptly-named Head Office serves one purpose: to retrieve the heads that have shrunk into people’s bodies due to the illness Turtle Head. The Head Office doesn’t need much, just the massive Turbo-Plunger to pull the heads back out.

$30,100
Required Staff: Doctor
Minimum Size: 4×4

DNA Lab

The DNA Lab is one of the few rooms that can both diagnose and treat diseases. While it is a last resort for diagnosis in many cases, it is the best option for treating some rare illnesses like Denim Genes. The room is costly and the treatments are slow; you’ll also need a doctor with the Genetics trait.

$50,100
Staff Required: Doctor with Genetics Trait
Minimum Size: 3×4

Shock Clinic

You’ll be SHOCKED (I’m so sorry) to learn that the Shock Clinic removes the electricity coursing through the body of Shock Horror patients. The room only serves one purpose in curing Shock Clinic, and the minimum room size is ample for the single required object.

$30,100
Required Staff: Doctor
Minimum Size: 4×4

Required Objects:

• Discharger

Resolution Lab

A specialized treatment room, the Resolution Lab cures pixelated illness known as 8-bitten. The Resolution Lab can hold one Debugger, and there isn’t much need for other items other than things to bump up heat, prestige, etc.

$30,100
Staff Required: Doctor
Minimum Size: 4×4

Recurvery Room

Another specialized treatment room, the Recurvery Room is home to the Recurvery Unit, a machine that cures Cubism. Cubism is a disease that turns your patients it, well, cubes. It must be staffed by a doctor and is pretty niche,  but it is a profitable late game treatment room.

$35,100
Required Staff: Doctor
Minimum Size: 3×5

Required Objects:

• Recurvery Unit

Cryptology

Looking for a spooky, Halloween themed hospital but tired of the same old boring ghosts? Does our Two Point Hospital Guide and Walkthrough have the thing for you! One of the last treatment rooms you will unlock is Cryptology, which is designed to cure those mummies that you will see wandering your halls.

$30,100
Staff Required: Nurse
Minimum Size: 3×4

Hiring Staff in Two Point Hospital

But what good are all these hospital rooms if you don’t have the staff you need to keep them running? Keep reading out Two Point Hospital Walkthrough to get the rundown on your hospital staff.

Types of Staff

There are four types of staff that you can hire. They are all available from the beginning of the game, and they all serve important purposes.

• Doctors: The most prominent members of your staff, they will do a large part of the treatment and diagnosis of illnesses. Doctors are also responsible for doing your research later in the game, and they can be utilized as trainers.
• Nurses: Behind every doctor is a great nurse. Nurses also function in certain treatment and diagnosis rooms, but those duties don’t overlap with a doctor’s. A nurse can also be used as a trainer.
• Assistants: In the beginning, assistants are primarily used for operating your reception desks and newsstands. Later in the game, you can employ assistants to run your Marketing efforts.
• Janitors: You’ll be shocked to know that Janitors are primarily responsible for cleaning and maintenance. They will pick up litter, water plants, and fix broken snack machines. If your hospital is haunted by a spooky ghost, your janitor can hunt the ghost and capture it with the right trait.

Hiring and Firing Staff

Making staff changes is simple in Two Point Hospital. You can hire staff by navigating to the Hire Screen. There, you will find at least three candidates for each position. The number of candidates goes up as your hospital reputation increases. If you hire a candidate or dismiss them for consideration, you will have to wait for a new candidate to spawn.

When considering a new hire, you can filter the candidates by job and sort by three other factors. These factors are:

• Ability – A general measurement of how good the candidate is at their job. Can rank from 1 to 5 stars.
• Qualifications – This is a list of the qualifications the candidate has. Each employee can have up to five.
• Salary – This is the salary the candidate will require. An applicant will have a monthly salary as well as a recruitment fee.

Firing is easy as well. There is an option to fire an employee when you click on them.

Happiness, Energy, and Needs

Every staff member has metrics that indicate how they are feeling as well as if they are getting what they need.

Happiness and energy are the two indicators of an employee’s mood. Happiness can be affected by a number of things including pay, needs to be met, comfort, and whether they’ve had a break recently. Energy is simply how tired a character is. Tired characters can be re-energized by going on a break.

The three needs of each staff member are hunger, thirst, and toilet needs. Each need comes with a bar. If the bar is short and red, the need is great. A yellow bar indicates the employee is less than comfortable. And a green bar reflects that this need is currently being met.

Hospitals

There are 15 different hospitals that you can open throughout Two Point County. Each hospital has different illnesses and issues to face. What’s more, as your hospitals earn reputation you will unlock new rooms and items. Here is our rundown of each of the hospitals in Two Point County.

Hogsport

The first hospital you will take control of, Hogsport is one of the smaller campuses. It is in the temperate part of the county, so you won’t have to worry about heating or cooling. The bulk of your treating will be done in Wards and De-Lux Clinics.

Unlocks:

1 star: Lower Bullocks (new hospital), Lightheaded Poster (item)
2 star: Salty Snacks Machine (item)
3 star: Newsagent (item)

Illnesses Encountered:

Lightheadedness
Bogwarts
Clamp
Grout
Misery Guts
Bed Face

Lower Bullocks

The Village of Lower Bullocks is being overrun with citizens convinced they are rockstars. Your hospital – and its Psychiatry room – are their best chance for being cured of their delusions.

Unlocks:

1 star: Flottering (new hospital), Cardiology (room), De-Lux O-Luxe II (room upgrade)
2 star: Extract-a-Pan II (room upgrade)
3 star: Extract-a-Pan III (room upgrade)

Illnesses Encountered:

Pandemic
Lightheadedness
Bogwarts
Lycanthropy
Potty Mouth
Verbal Diarrhea
Freudian Lips
Inflated Ego
Mock Star
Jazz Hand
Lazy Bones
Monobrow
Portishead

Flottering

The Flottering Hospital is unlocked after you obtain 1 star at Lower Bullocks. The hospital will be your first introduction to training your staff in the training room. You will also face a truly terrifying infestation: Clowns. Once you master staff training and unlock the Clown Clinic you’ll be on your way to grea things.

Unlocks:

1 Star: Mitton University (Hospital), Tumble (Hospital), Reception (Room), Clown Poster (Item).
2 Star: Dehumorfier II (Upgrade), Heart Racer II (Upgrade)
3 Star: Dehumorfier III (Upgrade), Heart Racer III (Upgrade)

Illnesses Encountered:

Jest Infection
Pandemic
Lycanthropy
Misery Guts
Verbal Diarrhoea
Boggled Mind
Freudian Lips
Mime Crisis
Bed Face
Monobrow
Mucky Feet

Tumble

Tumble is a small town best known for hiking trails through Tumble Ridge and Tumble Downs. Fortunately for you, these trails are steep which provides you plenty of patients with broken bones. A new room, the Fracture Ward, will help you handle the influx of injured.

Unlocks:

1 Star: Flemington (Hospital) also requires one star from Mitton University, Small Radiator (Item)
2 Star: Large Radiator (Item)
3 Star: Luxury Drinks Machine (Item)

Illnesses Encountered:

Lightheadedness
Humerus Injury
Hurty Leg
Pandemic
Bogwarts
Lycanthropy
Potty Mouth
Jazz Hand
Monobrow
Portishead
Jest Infection

Mitton University

Mitton University is your first foray into medical research. What’s more, the hiring pool only contains 1-star doctors and nurses with zero qualifications. You will need to train up your own staff from the ground up, especially if you want to begin research projects.

Unlocks:

1 Star: Flemington (hospital) requires 1-star from Tumble, Encylcopedia Bookcase I, De-Lux O-Luxe III (Upgrade)
2 Star: Encyclopedia Bookcase II (upgrade), EZ-Scan III (Upgrade)
3 Star: Server (item), Drug Mixer III (Upgrade)

Illnesses Encountered:

Grey Anatomy
Jest Infection
Lightheadedness
Decision Rash
Mood Poisoning
Rock Bottom
Bogwarts
Lycanthropy
Misery Guts
Potty Mouth
Boggled Mind
Freudian Lips
Inflated Ego
Mock Star
Night Fever
Lazy Bones
Mucky Feet

Flemington

Located in the coldest corner of the county, Flemington is the first hospital that allows you to open a marketing department.

Unlocks:

1 Star: Smogley (hospital), Melt Downs (Hospital), Cafe (Room
2 Star: N/A
3 Star: N/A

Illnesses Encountered:

Grey Anatomy
Lightheadedness
Broken Face
Cross Bones
Shattered
Litter Bug
Mood Poisoning
Rock Bottom
Pandemic
Animal Magnetism
Lycanthropy
Potty Mouth
Boggled Mind
Mime Crisis
Mock Star
Night Fever
Jazz Hand
Mucky Feet

Smogley

Built in a heavily industrialized part of the county, Smogley is ground zero for pollution and workplace injuries that require surgery.

Unlocks

1 Star: Duckworth-Upon-Bilge (Hospital, also requires 1 star from Melt Downs)
2 Star: N/A
3 Star: N/A

Illnesses encountered

Grey Anatomy
Cross Bones
Humerus Injury
Hurty Leg
Turtle Head
Decision Rash
Mood Poisoning
Pandemic
Animal Magnetism
Mock Star
Night Fever
Floppy Discs
Gurning Loins
Pipe Organs
Spinal Bap
Bed Face
Jazz Hand
Portishead

Melt Downs

Built near the area’s shoddy power plant, Melt Down is a hot mess when you take over. You’ll need to clean up the mess left behind for you and focus on new research tasks.

Unlocks

1 Star: Duckworth-upon-Bilge (Hospital, unlocks with 1 star from Smogley), Toxic-Waste Bin (Item)
2 Star: N/A
3 Star: N/A

Illnesses Encountered

Jest Infection
Lightheadedness
Denim Genes
Flumps
Jumbo DNA
Broken Face
Humerus Injury
Shattered
Decision Rash
Litter Bug
Animal Magnetism
Lycanthropy
Misery Guts
Verbal Diarrhoea
Shock Horror
Bed Face
Monobrow

Duckworth-upon-Bilge

The County’s last public hospital is in trouble, and Lord Foxbridge wants you to take it over. The finances are tricky, as you only get a budget from the county and don’t keep any of the income your hospital generates.

Unlocks

1 Star: Sweaty Palms (Hospital), Grockle Bay (Hospital)
2 Star: N/A
3 Star: N/A

Illnesses Encountered

Grey Anatomy
Jest Infection
Lightheadedness
Denim Genes
Flumps
Jumbo DNA
Touch of Midas
Shattered
Turtle Head
Mood Poisoning
Bogwarts
Misery Guts
Night Fever
Pandemic
Animal Magnetism
8-Bitten
Shock Horror
Floppy Discs
Gurning Loins
Heart Throb
Pipe Organs
Spinal Bap
Jazz Hand
Lazy Bones
Monobrow
Mucky Feet

Sweaty Palms

One of the best holiday destinations in Two Point County, Sweaty Palms is also prone to earthquakes and volcanic activity. You’ll probably need more janitors than usual due to the debris.

Unlocks

1 Star: Blighton (Hospital, also requires 1 star in Grockle Bay)
2 Star: N/A
3 Star: N/A

Illnesses Encountered

Grey Anatomy
Premature Mummification
Denim Genes
Flumps
Jumbo DNA
Touch of Midas
Humerus Injury
Turtle Head
Decision Rash
Litter Bug
Spontaneous Combustion
Animal Magnetism
Bogwarts
Clamp
Lycanthropy
Verbal Diarrhoea
Boggle Mind
Emporor Complex
Freudian Lips
Night Fever
8-Bitten
Gurning Loins
Pipe Organs
Lazy Bones

Grockle Bay

Unlocks:

1 Star: Cubism Poster (Item), Blighton (Hospital, anso requires 1 star in Sweaty Palms)
2 Star: N/A
3 Star: Cubism Anatomy Poster

illnesses Encountered:

Denim Genes
Jumbo DNA
Leopard Skin
Touch of Midas
Broken Face
Hurty Leg
Shattered
Turtle Head
Pudding Blood
Rock Bottom
Spontaneous Combustion
Misery Guts
Verbal Diarrhoea
Emperor Complex
Inflated Ego
Mime Crisis
Cubism
8-bitten
Shock Horror
FLoppy Discs
Gurning Loins
Heart Throb
Jazz Hand
Lazy Bones
Mucky Feet

Blighton

Blighton is a genuinely delightful village unless you have an issue with plagues of contagious diseases. In that case, Blighton might not be for you. It is a hot part of the county that struggles with hygiene, so keep your hospital clean!

Unlocks:

1 Star: Pelican Wharf (Hospital), Rotting Hill (Hospital)
2 Star: N/A
3 Star: N/A

Illnesses Encountered:

Grey Anatomy
Premature Mummification
Leopard Skin
Touch of Midas
Turtle Head
Animal Magnetism
Misery Guts
Potty Mouth
Verbal Diarrhoea
Emporor Complex
Freudian Lips
Mime Crisis
Mock Star
Night Fever
Cubism
8-bitten
Shock Horror
Gurning Loins
Heart Throb
Spinal Bap

Pelican Wharf

Pelican Wharf is the hospital that serves the high-tech part of Two Point County. With the high tech comes a high volume of illnesses, though.

Unlocks:

1 Star: Croquembouche (Hospital)
2 Star: N/A
3 Star: N/A

Illnesses Encountered:

Grey Anatomy
Jest Infection
Premature Mummification
Cubism
Jumbo DNA
Leopard Skin
Touch of Midas
Broken Face
Cross Bones
Shattered
Turtle Head
Decision Rash
Litter Bug
Pudding Blood
Rock Bottom
Spontaneous Combustion
Pandemic
Animal Magnetism
Bogwarts
Lycanthropy
Misery Guts
Potty Mouth
Emporor Complex
Mock Star
8-bitten
Shock Horror
Gurning Loins
Heart Throb
PIpe Organs
Jazz Hand
Monobrow
Mucky Feet
Portishead

Rotting Hill

One of the worst hospitals in the county, this publicly-owned facility has been recently transferred to you to save.

Unlocks:

1 Star: Croquembouche
2 Star: N/A
3 Star: N/A

Illnesses Encountered:

Grey Anatomy
Jest Infection
Premature Mummificaiton
Lightheadedness
Flumps
Humerus Injury
Hurty Leg
Turtle Head
Litter Bug
Mood Poisoning
Spontaneous Combustion
Pandemic
Potty Mouth
Verbal Diarrhoea
Emperor Complex
Mock Star
Night Fever
Cubism
Floppy DIscs
Gurning Loins
Bed Face
Lazy Bones
Monobrow
Mucky Feet
Portishead

Croquembouche

The final hospital you’ll unlock in Two Point Hospital is easily the busiest. Based in the bustling center, you can expect a deluge as soon as you open the doors.

Unlocks: 

None

Illnesses Encountered:

All of them

Illnesses

8-bitten

Cured with: Resolution Lab
First Scene: Duckworth-upon-Bilge

Animal Magnetism

Cured with: Pest Control
First Scene: Flemington

Bed Face

Cured with: Ward
First Scene: Hogsport

Boggled Mind

Bogwarts

Broken Face

Cross Bones
Cured with: Fracture Ward

Clamp

Cured with: Pharmacy
First Scene: Hogsport

Cubism

Cured with: Recurvery Room

Decision Rash

Cured with: Decision Rash
First Scene: Mitton University

Denim Genes

Cured with: DNA Lab
First Scene: Melt Downs

Emperor Complex

Cured with: Psychiatry
First Scene: Grockle Bay

Flumps

Cured with: DNA Lab
First Scene: Melt Downs

Floppy Discs

Cured with: Surgery

Freudian Lips

Grey Anatomy

Cured with: Chromatherapy
First Scene: Mitton University

Grout

Cured with: Pharmacy
First Scene: Hogsport

Gurning Loins

Cured with: Surgery
First Scene: Smogley

Heart Throb

Cured with: Surgery

Humerus Injury

Cured with: Fracture Ward

Hurty Leg

Cured with: Fracture Ward

Inflated Ego

Jazz Hands

Cured with: Ward
First Scene: Tumble

Jest Infection

Jumbo DNA

Cured with: Ward

Leopard Skin

Cured with: DNA Lab
First Scene: Duckworth-upon-Bilge

Light Headed

Cured with: De-Lux Clinic
First Scene: Hogsport

Litter Bug

Cured with: Injection Room

Lycanthropy

Cured with: Pharmacy
First Scene: Flottering

Mime Crisis

Cured with: Psychiatry
First Scene: Flottering

Misery Guts

Mock Star

Cured with: Ward
First Scene: Lower Bullocks

Mood Poisoning

Cured with: Injection Room
First Scene: Flottering

Mucky Feet

Cured with: Ward
First Scene: Mitton University

Night Fever

Cured with: Psychiatry
First Scene: Mitton University

Premature Mummification

Cured With: Cryptology

Pandemic

Shattered

Shock Horror

Cured with: Shock Clinic
First Scene: Melt Downs

Spinal Bap

Cured with: Surgery

Spontaneous Combustion

Cured with: Injection Room
First Scene: Grockle Bay

Touch of Midas

Verbal Diarrhoea

Cured with: Pharmacy
First Scene: Lower Bullocks

Two Point Hospital Tips and Tricks

Here are some important things to consider on your first playthrough.

Training

While it may be possible to simply hire more staff every time you have a need for a specialist, the ability to train them yourselves can save some money. Need a janitor that can hunt ghosts as well as a doctor that specializes in psychiatry? Just train your own!

To train, you must have first unlocked the Training Room. The room contains a lectern for the trainer and as many seats as can fit for your staff. You can use a staffer with the trait you want to teach to lead the training, or you can pay to have an outside trainer come in and teach.

You’ll need to manage your training carefully; adding new attributes is great but it can take important staff out of the rotation. Training is a large enough subject that we’ve written an entire guide for it here (coming soon!).

Research

Research opens up an entirely new part of the game once you build your first Research Room. Later in the game, strong research is critical in unlocking new equipment, discovering new illnesses, and even building new rooms. To do research, you will need a doctor with the Research trait. Each project costs $1,000 to start and can take some time to complete. To get a better understanding of research in Two Point Hospital, check out our Research Guide (Coming soon!).

Marketing

Once you have a Marketing room built, you will have the option to run marketing campaigns for your hospital. Each campaign can serve one of three purposes: boosting the hospital reputation, attracting patients with certain illnesses, and attracting new staff.

Each marketing room will require an assistant that has the Marketing Qualification. The campaign lasts for three months and can be either small, medium, or large. Larger campaigns will net more results but are also more expensive. Marketing is an in-depth subject deserving of its own topic, so check out our Two Point Hospital Marketing Guide (Coming Soon!)

Inspectors and VIPs

While most of the visitors that come to your hospital are regular patients looking for a cure for what ails them, there are a few special visitors that have their own significance. These include health inspectors, celebrities, and even rival CEOs.

VIPs won’t simply show up at your hospital. While you get warning of these visits, you can’t decline them. The VIPs will go from room to room, checking various aspects of your hospital. You can identify them by the crown over their head. Each VIP will also have a progress bar

Henry Jobsworth

Health Inspector

The first VIP you’ll get a visit from, Jobsworth is the official health inspector for Two Point County. He will inspect your hospital with an eye out for unsanitary conditions and equipment that needs to be upgraded.

• Challenge: Impress the VIP with a nice Hospital
• Reward: 8 Reputation, $15,000, and 10 Kudosh

Tarquin Foxbridge

Health Minister

The boss of Henry Jobsworth, Tarquin Foxbridge is the Health Minister for the entire county. He will inspect the hospital with the same critical eye as Henry Jobsworth. While his visit won’t net as much cash as the health inspector, you have the potential to net more reputation and Kudosh.

• Challenge: Impress the VIP with a nice Hospital
• Reward: 15 Reputation, $5,000, and 20 Kudosh

Tabitha Windsock

Mayor

It’s election season, and Mayor Windsock is looking to gladhand a little. She’s coming to the hospital for a tour, and if she’s impressed she’ll give you a shout out on the campaign trail. There are a few different letters you might get from the Mayor, but the rewards are the same for all of them.

• Challenge: Impress the VIP with a nice Hospital
• Reward: 8 Reputation and 10 Kudosh

Jasmine Odyssey

Pop Star

Beginning with Hogsport Hospital, you will begin getting visits from Two Point County’s favorite country music star, Jasmine Odyssey. Like other VIPs, impressing her will net you reputation, cash, and Kudosh. But unlike other VIPs, you will also unlock the Jasmine Odyssey Photo item to decorate your hospital with.

• Challenge: Impress the VIP with a nice Hospital
• Reward: 10 Reputation, 10 Kudosh, $10,000, and unlocked Jasmine Odyssey Photo

Roderick Cushion

Movie Star

Roderick Cushion is a movie star that’s looking to improve his image after being tarred with a recent scandal. The movie star / Zeppelin pilot is hoping to do a photo op at a local hospital to help repair his good name. Impressing him can get you a boost in resources and reputation.

• Challenge: Impress the VIP with a nice Hospital
• Reward: 10 Reputation, 10 Kudosh, and $10,000 

Sally Figblanket

Reporter

Sally is a well-known investigative reporter with Two Point Radio that is in the area to investigate the destruction of a local town hall in a freak storm. She does a County Round-Up that spotlights county news; if your hospital impresses her she will give you glowing reviews live on the air.

• Challenge: Impress the VIP with a nice Hospital
• Reward: 8 reputation and 10 Kudosh

Augustus Lavender

CEO, Holistix

Augustus Lavender is the CEO of your rival company, Holistix. His intentions are evil; he will search your hospital for weaknesses and tell your patients that our treatments are “Made-up.” He’s harmless, despite the “homeopathic poison” that he will gift you if his visit impresses him.

• Challenge: Impress the VIP with a nice Hospital
• Reward: 8 reputation

Sophie Nova

CEO, Bungle Technologies

A fellow healthcare CEO, Sophie doesn’t have the same evil intent as Augustus Lavender. She visits your hospital for inspiration as well as to learn how you calibrate your equipment. Her reward is unique in that she provides research points.

• Challenge: Impress the VIP with a nice Hospital
• Reward: 250 Research Points

Agatha Sphere

CEO, The Orb Foundation

Agatha Sphere is creepy and evil; she’s also the CEO of our biggest rival The Orb Foundation. She will make an effort to bring down the morale of our patients as well as disrupt the workings of the hospital. If you manage to impress her, you will have truly earned your rewards.

• Challenge: Impress the VIP with a nice Hospital
• Reward: 8 reputation

Nuisances

Fairly early into the game, you will run into a few different types of creatures that can cause problems in your hospital. Ghosts and Monobeasts each cause their own unique headaches, but they can both be cleared out without too much trouble.

Ghosts

Not all of your patients are going to make it regardless of how smoothly your hospital is running. While it’s a bummer to lose a patient, it can turn into a headache if the deceased stick around to haunt you as a ghost. Ghosts are created at random. You can see our Two Point Hospital Ghost Guide here!

Monobeasts

The undead aren’t the only nuisances you’ll face in Two Point Hospital. Living, crawling unibrow creatures known as Monobeasts can also inhabit your hospitals. While these usually only appear in very dirty hospitals, it’s possible they can show up anywhere. You can learn how to master shooting them with our Monobeast guide!

See Our Two Point Hospital Monobeasts Guide

Every Achievement in Two Point Hospital

Achievements are little more than medals signifying that you’ve met certain milestones. Completing these milestones won’t earn you anything other than a reputation as a hospital badass.

Give a Man a Hospital

Cure 1 Patient

Double Digits

Have a Level 10 Hospital

Two Point Bounty

Earn 10,000 Kudosh

I. See. You.

Capture 100 Ghosts

Teach a Man to Hospital

Cure 100 Patients

County-Wide

Earn 15 Gold Stars

Double Double

Have a Level 20 Hospital

JUMBO

Reach $50,000,000 Organizational Value

Bells and Whistles

Conduct 25 Machine Upgrades

Inter-Continental

Earn 30 Gold Stars

Well-Informed

Complete 50 Research Points

Always Be Curing

Run 50 Marketing Campaigns

Pointy Mountain G.O.A.T.

Earn 45 Gold Stars

Dr. Know

Train a World-Class Researcher

I’d Like to Thank My Mother

Win every award in a single hospital

Jung at Heart

Train a World-Class Psychiatrist

Cut Above

Train a World-Class Surgeon

Low Brow

Shoot 1 Monobeast

High Brow

Shoot 10 Monobeasts

Peer-Reviewed

Complete a Multiplayer Challenge

Generating Business

Injure someone with an exploding machine

Wrapping Up Our Two Point Hospital Tips and Walkthrough

That’s all we’ve got! We hope this comprehensive walkthrough offered you everything you need. If not, let us know in the comment section below!